By Sammy Kovnat; Contributor


When I give my most recent ex her socks back


and unearthed from the soil beneath my bed

I will actively focus on not letting our hands touch

So that this offering doesn't feel stranger


Paying for the drink of a person you just spilled yours on intentionally 

I will 

Make light eye contact and apologize

Because that's the only thing I know how to do

Because I can apologize myself out of existence and no one would question it

Because apologizing to attempt to find equilibrium is how I was raised


I hand the socks over and she laughs 

Because nervous laughter exists

Because she's over me and I'm too thick to understand that 

Because she just really missed her cactus sock 


When I get invited to a party at my most recent exes house

I put her lost socks in my backpack

Pulled from the soil beneath my bed 


I cannot let them decay into my carpet


When I arrive I will be friendly

I will 

Talk about light-hearted

Casual things 


the weather 

The last tweet Kanye sent

The slowly disintegrating society that we live in

I will wait for the exact moment

When I know everyone is the perfect level of intoxicated

(Myself included) 

I'll suddenly need to pee 

And excuse myself to

 "Find the loo"

I will find her bedroom 

By ways of the bathroom

By ways of the stairs

By ways of the drunken memory of finding it in the dark

It is here that I will pull out her socks

One black

One with tiny cacti 

And I will gingerly plant them beneath her bed

A tender crime scene 

To avoid the aforementioned 


Because I don't think she wants another apology from me 

Because I think if she had to see my brain furiously processing fear mid discussion she would scream 

Because I really want to be quiet 

For once

Even though my feelings are loud 

I just want to re-root the mismatched fabric and bring us back to equilibrium

With no words

Just a sober exchange

poetryZoe Rayn Evans